Here is one for the books

I have to write this one down. I don't know where this boy gets these things from....

J boy and his neighbor buddy (who is not quite 2 years old yet) fight like they were brothers. They have never done permanent damage to each other so that is a good sign. They see each other so much, they beg to go to each others houses daily yet when they are together it is inevitable there will be fights to break up and tears and hurt feelings in the mix.

I heard this story second hand so I'll have a go at it....

At Thanksgiving dinner the boys were "playing" with each other, slightly unsupervised if that is even possible. We were all in the same room, just ignoring the kids as much as possible. Well C and Marty hear Micah (the 2 year old neighbor boy) cry and look in his direction only to see him screaming while J boy is fleeing the scene. Marty comforts her son while running after J boy to see what happened. C heads over to the scene of the crime to punish the naughty boy if needed.

Marty and C ask J boy "what happened to Micah? Did he fall, did you push him, or hit him etc." and J boys response to them was "NO I didn't hit him, I just broke his teeth!" I'm not sure what happened after that, but I can imagine both adults trying not to laugh at that response and punish the kid. NO he did not really break his teeth but I think what he meant was he wanted to break his teeth.

Come on, though, how can you not laugh at that?! Where did he even get that from?

I don't know what we are going to do with these two. Can't we all just get along?!

Santa or No Santa?! Is there a happy medium?

This is going to be a long post, I can feel it. Stick with me though!

I have been pondering and struggling with a particular subject for a couple of weeks now. I have thought about it since E was a baby, but never had to worry so much about it until this year. I am torn. I don't know what to do. I have a smart 5 year old and answering her questions about Santa is getting harder and harder. I never thought that this whole "Santa" thing would be hard on me as a Mom and it hasn't been hard, until now.

In years past E and J boy (who still doesn't get it all) never "Believed" in Santa because they never really got it. I never said to her "Here is what Santa brought you for Christmas." Because honestly she could have cared less who the presents were from, it was hard enough to get her to pause and look at the tag before she ripped open her gifts. So it never was a problem. I never pushed the whole Santa thing on her because she's a kid, she watches tv and sees and hears all the stories about Santa, who he is and what he does and his role at Christmas. It never bothered me because she never asked questions.

My siblings and I "believed" in Santa when we were very young. My parents put out presents under the tree to each child from Santa. We left out Stockings that were filled by Santa. We left cookies and milk on Christmas Eve night for Santa and a carrot or two for his reign deer. It was fun! We loved it. I don't remember my parents saying these words exactly "Yes, Santa is real and he brings you gifts." they may very well have said just that, but I don't remember. I think Santa is just something kids find out about and it's all so magical and fun that they just believe he is real.

I must have found out at a young age that it all was just that, fun and not real at all. I don't remember being so upset when I found out that Santa was not real so it must have been that I found out at a young age and I just don't remember OR it was a totally traumatic experience that I have blocked from my memory, either way I don't remember finding out the truth about Santa.

Long after we stopped believing my Mom and Dad stilled played Santa. Us kids even "played Santa" putting out cookies and milk, checking our stockings from Santa etc. It was still fun even though we knew it was all not real. Our Parents would still threaten us with "Santa doesn't bring gifts to naughty kids." or "Santa doesn't come until you are asleep." all those wonderful threats that Santa can provide for parents were still used in our home long after our belief in him was gone.

My parents were great examples of sharing with us kids the true meaning of Christmas, making sure we knew this holiday and time of year was not just about Santa or getting things but that is was about Christ, his birth, his life, his ultimate gift to man kind. I remember not being able to open any presents until the story was read from the Bible, I hated it when I was younger but it has become a favorite part of my Christmas morning tradition. I have done this with our little family, turning the focus of Christmas off of Santa and reminding my sweet girl who this Holiday and what this Holiday is really all about.

BUT she still is wanting to know all about Santa. Santa is every where, it is sad to see it shoved all over the shelves and see less and less of Christ around during this season. It is hard to shelter her from Santa and I wouldn't do that but she has questions and we, her parents, need to be the ones to answer them.

So here is where I am at right now. I don't want to lie to my kids forcing them or even tricking them to believe in Santa only to have to tell them just a year or two down the road that, in fact he is not real at all. That seems kind of silly to me. I liked having fun as a kid doing all the "Santa" things in our house, but that was never the focus of Christmas in our home, but still a very fun part.

My big girl is 5 years old now and very smart and wants to put things together and has lots of questions. I don't know which direction to take it in.

For example: We are doing our own little Harker Christmas here before heading out to my folks for the actual Christmas Holiday. I asked E what she wanted for Christmas so I can get on top of it and prepare for our little Christmas of gift opening here in a couple of weeks. Well her reply to my question was "Well I'll just tell Santa what I want." I thought carefully how I'd respond to this. Never have I said to her "What are you going to ask Santa for Christmas." or "What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas." this is something she has found out through movies/tv school etc. that Santa brings you a gift. So My response was just this "Well you can tell me what you want for Christmas too." But where does that leave her thought process? Does that lead her to believe he is real by me saying you can tell Santa and Mommy what you want for Christmas? I don't know.

I kept pushing her, "I need to know what you want for Christmas." She finally said "Well Santa can just get me what I want." sigh. What do I say? I want her to know that the gifts are not actually from Santa but that Mommy and Daddy buy them and put them under the tree for her, from Santa. See how it gets weird?

I have one of my Best Friends who's family, growing up, never believed in Santa but yet they still did the Santa things, knowing it was all just for fun and pretend. I talked to her on the phone the other day and brought up my dilemma to her, knowing she does not (in her family with her kids now) do the whole believing in Santa thing because that is how it was in her house when she was a child. She gave me good advice but I still am trying to find a happy medium for me and my family. She said (I'm putting it into my words) basically "Kids love to pretend and Christmas will still be magical while "playing" Santa but not actually thinking he is real and is the one that brings them gifts. It was still magical for me and we still left cookies for Santa knowing he was not real. You won't be taking away the Christmas fun by telling her he is pretend."

I liked that. I like it because it is so true. Kids love to pretend, and Santa IS pretend. So I guess I'm just trying to find that happy medium with my kids and where to take our Family Traditions this year which will set up what we may very well do for years to come.

I have an idea of what I think we will do in our Family with the whole Santa thing. I think it could be really good. But I think I'll share it with you when I work it all out in my head and let you know if it works for us.

So my questions to you are:

"How did you do Santa at your house growing up, was it hard on you to find out he was not real?"

"How do you do Santa NOW at your house?" OR if your kids are still too young to even get it "How will you do the whole Santa thing when they start asking questions, like my daughter is?"

Just curious what your thoughts are. Not that you will change my mind on how I feel about the whole subject, it's just interesting to see what others have done or will do with their families.

(told you it was going to be long)

to be continued with what I have or will decide to do.....

Family fun with some nice weather

We had some amazing weather a couple of Saturday's ago and we took advantage of it by going on a really fun hike. There is a fun State Park just an hours drive away that has some beautiful scenery and fun hikes for families. It was packed with people but we didn't care we have wanted to hike around this place for a while now. It wasn't as pretty as it would have been if the leaves were still on the trees but it we still enjoyed ourselves. The kids were so happy to get out side and be in nature. What can I say, they are true Harkers.

Ha! I love this picture of E. I asked her to sit there on the rock so I could take a picture of her and as I am pointing the camera at her saying Eden I'm going to take a picture now, this is how she posed, no joke! I have a future Model on my hands. Oh no, Not that!

Not a poser, but still cute.

She's not always this serious, I promise.

With Daddy. I love J boys face in this. I told him to look happy.

Looking out over the trees and river.

They loved climbing this big rock and sliding down it like a slide.

Ok, if you look really closely in the back ground you'll notice how the trees are going upward, like on a slope. That is as close to mountains as you'll get in our neck of the woods. We have large hills around these parts and they are few and far between. We love mountains and miss them dearly.

it took us through a cool crevice

What a big boy he was, it was not a terribly easy hike for kids and here he is maneuvering over lots of logs keeping up with the big kids.

and here he is climbing one of the few ladders we had to go up. He loved this part and he did so good going up the ladders with little to no help from Daddy.

Taking a rest at the top. We got this sweet family picture too! I love E's face. Both kids thought it was so funny that that camera was taking a picture all by its self.

Yay we finished the hike! Now we get to throw rocks and sticks into the water.

Besides the lady bugs that were eating us alive (yes, lady bugs bite, bet you didn't know that!) it was a fun Saturday together as a family and with BEAUTIFUL weather outside. We really like this park and want to go back when it's all green and pretty to explore it some more.

I'm a good Mother, I know

On the way home from church yesterday our grouchy little boy wanted out of his car seat. He kept whining and complaining saying "I can't, I can't get out! I want to get out!" it was annoying to say the least. I had little patience and tolerance for whining that day I guess, and I didn't want to hear it. The usual "No buddy you can't get out yet, wait until we get home." was not doing the trick this time. He would not stop whining and C and I were annoyed.

Soooo being the good Mother that I am, I thought I'd try the "scare tactic" with this kid to get him to shut up (shhh that is a bad word, I know).

I say to him "J boy if you get out of your seat the police men will come and take you away from us forever."

Is that a lie? Because technically, if we got pulled over and had our kid wandering our huge mini-van while driving 45 + miles an hour they'd question our parenting ability and could take our kids away, right? Ok, it was a white lie because they would not keep them away from us forever.

Well, either way it was a mistake on my part.

I guess with the annoyed or angry tone in my voice my silly boy thought that these "police men" were bad guys and he was not happy about that. Also I don't think he heard me say "IF you get out of your seat" all he heard was there were some "bad" men coming to take him away, so I can see why he'd be so scared. So yes, there were tears, and fear but at least the whining stopped. And Yes, I was laughing at him. He was so scared and it was so sad, but funny and cute in a way.

To make you all feel better about my Mothering skills, I did comfort him and tell him they were not coming to take him away because he was being a good boy and staying in his seat. I also explained that the seat helped protect him if we got in a crash, but he still cried. He was very tired and grouchy.

We got a good laugh out of it and now he won't try and get out of his seat for fear of bad men taking him away from his family. My scare tactic worked, wouldn't ya say?

I know I'm such a good Mother, you don't need to remind me :)

Kids are funny

My kids are funny, well at least I think so. I love the silly things they say that are just so random.

J boy is such a talker these days. Sadly he has attitude! One of his favorite phrases to say is "I'm not talking to you!" ATTITUDE I tell ya! He also makes us laugh with some of the things he says. I can't even remember any one thing in particular but I know he makes me laugh on a daily basis with his random things he says.

E is so "educated" these days saying such intellectual things. It cracks me up. Here is an example of her use of new words....

My Mom sent the kids a Halloween card and stuck inside was a pumpkin magnet. E pulled off the magnet reveling the "sticky" stuff that held it there on the card. E picked up the card and accidentally got her hand stuck on the sticky stuff and this is what she said....

In her cute smart voice she said "OH man that was a sticky violation!"

I laughed out loud! Apparently the card violated her. It was too funny to hear her use that word.

She has said some other silly things....

She was doing a craft one day on her Fall Break and she asked me to get something for her, several times (I was probably ignoring her) she then said "Mom, I AM and artist you know!" Well La-Ti-Da miss Artist.

There are many more things she has said that surprise me but I can't remember them all. I just wanted to record the one's I did remember before I forgot them.

I love this stage my kids are at!

I love my funny kids. It makes the mundane parts of being a stay at home mother a little more exciting and fun.

Halloween 2009

Our Halloween this year was pretty uneventful. We did not do a whole lot this year, and it's my fault. I wasn't feeling the "Halloween Spirit" this year.

We did however, do the basics.....Carve pumpkins, make Halloween snacks, dress the kids up and trick or treat, went to the our Wards chili cook off and pumpkin carving contest and...that's about it. We didn't even go to our Wards Trunk or treat it was too wet and cold for me and the kids didn't care either. Sadly E's school won't let them dress up for their "Fall Party" (can't even call it a Halloween party) so E really only wore her awesome costume once, sad.

I did get to go in and help out at E's class Fall Party and that was so fun. The best part about going into her class to help out was how proud she was of me, her Mother. She was showing me off to all her friends, it was awesome and I soaked it up because in not too many years down the road I know she'll be embarrassed of her Mother (all girls go through that stage right?) At the end of the party I even heard a little boy go up to E and say "You're Mom is so fun E!" and her response "I know she is!" It melted my heart.

Sorry for the delay in pictures, I just haven't been feeling like blogging lately. So to my family who have been asking to see Halloween pics (especially E's costume) here ya go.

Carving the pumpkin for the kids, with their "help".....

I know it's a blurry picture but it just shows how excited he was to get messy.
side note: I know there are three very sharp knives lying right next to my boy which makes me look like a bad Mother, but he was supervised by both parents and he was totally oblivious to them, he was having too much fun with the "goo".

The end result.....and J boy kissing it.

The kids painted two small pumpkins and Daddy carved the second large pumpkin and entered it into our ward pumpkin carving contest. (It didn't win, but we thought it was pretty cool) Can you tell who it is?

The moment you've all been waiting for.....The kids dressed up in their costumes.

And here it is... My E girl as Princess Leia (You know from Star Wars)
So those of you who don't know the story....We like Star Wars around here, but I would not say we are HUGE fans, we don't even own the DVD's. E ended up watching one of the original Star Wars movies on TV one evening and loved it. We borrowed the Movies from some friends and she watched most of them, she didn't like the scary parts so we just shipped those, but loved Princess Leia and Yoda. So when I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween this year of course it was "Princess Leia!"

(Yes I made her costume, hair and all! It turned out GREAT and was a huge hit. I had some help from a great friend with the boot covers)

My cute Spider Man doing some sort of spidery moves. He loved his mask but trick or treated with it up on his head reveling his face the whole time, silly boy.Princess Leia and Mini Mouse. She is one of E's best friends, who we've known since she was born. They are growing up so fast!Two of E's closet friends in our Ward.....Princess Leia w/ Bumble Bee and Mini Mouse.

I felt like such a Halloween Scrooge around here, I just couldn't get into it this year. Maybe next year I'll be less of a Scrooge. I did however put in lots of time working on E's costume this year, which I have never really done any other Halloween so I hope that counts for some thing, right?!

This is all that matters though....

At the end of the Holiday we had two happy kiddos!