One of those days...

Today is just one of those days where I feel like I don't know how to be a mom any more, I do stupid things and forget things and my kids suffer for it and I feel really guilty.

So here is the drama of today....To start off I wanted to get the kids out of the house before the rain came in this afternoon, it's not like I haven't done this before, I should know how to get myself and two kids ready to get out and do some thing out side but for some reason I couldn't quite get it done. So by the time they are ready J is screaming for me to put him to bed feeling torn between getting out side because we might not get another chance or putting him to bed and doing some thing inside, I finally decide to put him to bed and do a craft with E. All is well! Not so much. After our craft (which was fun and turned out cute) I try and take a shower and get E all cleaned up, I succeed at this but only to wake J up way too early from his nap. It's okay I can deal with it. I just got my hair CHOPPED off saturday so I leave the kids in E's room to play while I mess with my hair for a while. It's really cute by the way but I wanted to see what I could do with it. I hear them crying and fighting and just ignore it, nothing unusual around here. Well I can only ignore it for so long before they are both screaming for me. I race in the room angry that they won't give me five minutes of peace while I play with my hair, and as I'm flinging the door open I realize I'm stupid to do that but it's too late. My first fear is that I smash J to the ground because he's usually right behind the door I want to open. I was wrong it wasn't J it was E she was laying on the ground with her fingers stuck under the door who knows why and she was pushing J out of the way so he wouldn't be able to do it and he was mad that he couldn't join in the action that is why they were screaming. So I swing open the door and immediately know I did some thing dumb I look down and poor E, her hand is totally smashed under that small space under the door all the way up to her wrist and she is SCREAMING in pain. I quickly push her hand down into the carpet and get it free from the door but she is hurt. Her hand all the way up the wrist had the top few layers of skin pealed off and there was some bleeding and already bruising. I maker her look away because it's not pretty and I didn't want her to freak out more. I ask her to move it up down side to side and it's not broken, thank heaven! Well stupid me forgot that as I raced in the room I dropped my hot curling iron on the ground (what was I thinking?!!!!) so as I'm running water over E's hand and comforting her I hear J scream in pain of course he found the hot curling iron and touched it! I just break down and start crying and my two kids are screaming, what is my problem today? Do I not remember how to be a mom?! Normally I wouldn't do such things because I know my kids but for some reason I was a space case today. It was quite the scene all of us crying and me holding both of my kids bawling because I hurt them (on accident) trying to run water on both of their hands. I give them both a cold wash cloth to hold on their owchies and I pump them full of tylenol to help with the pain. Lucky for them I didn't forget how to treat owchies. After about a half hour we are all calmed down. J is finally back to sleep and E is being spoiled because of how guilty I feel. I'm letting her watch as many movies or cartoons as she wants today and even eat candy and suckers! I bet she wishes I hurt her every day after her day of being spoiled and waited on by mommy. I just feel guilty for not thinking things through first. Do you every have those days where you feel like you forgot how to be a mom? Well today is that day for me! Ahhh what a day. There is always tomorrow though right? I have to keep telling myself that. And at the end of the day I still have a loving husband and two kids who will still love me unconditionally, well hopefully :)