This is why boys are great.....

My boy is not a fan of swimming lessons any more. He liked it the first week, OK. This week he has decided to be "scared" or stubborn or something.

Today I used the wonderful Motherly tool of bribery....."If you go to your swimming class and do what your teacher asks you to do I'll take you to McDonald's and get you a happy meal!" He was all for that.He went in the pool and did most of what his teacher asked him to do, except put his whole head under water. Hey, he got his face wet, that is an accomplishment for him.

So the real story of this post starts now, it may be long but stick with me here.....

Yes, I took them to McDonald's. I went through the drive-thru because I had all three kids with me, by myself. I was not about to haul all three in there today, it just wasn't going to happen.
So I order (it's important I tell you what I order as it plays a big part in the crazy story I am about to tell you)

going on......I order E's happy meal with a chocolate milk. I order J boys happy meal with the same because chocolate milk is such a treat for some reason. The chocolate milks look like this, and yes it's important to note this....
For me, I order a chicken snack wrap, I'm trying to eat better these days.

After I pull out of the drive-thru I pull into a parking spot as usual to distribute the food to the starving children. Because of my experience in the past with these chocolate milks, I asked the nice man at the window if I could have two kids cups with lids and straws, so now we have chocolate milk now like this.... You see, lids help contain spills, yes I have learned the hard way. Voila chocolate milk safe for driving.

I get the kids situated with food in lap, drinks in hand and I'm back up in my seat in no time ready to scarf down my tiny snack wrap. I don't drive and eat, I think it's gross and messy and not to mention dangerous.

I hear the tiny voice of my boy (it's only tiny and soft when it's important other wise he's yelling, crying, screaming....you name it.)

"i need to go potty"

"What, buddy?"

"I need to go potty"

"What, I still can't hear you."

"I need to go potty!"

Uurrggg, great! I turn around and see him doing the "pinch and hold" technique which means it's pretty much already coming out.

"HOLD IT!" I scream at him. I had just cleaned his car seat last week from a similar situation and didn't want to do it again.

He pinches harder. Good, that works!

This is how I know I am an amazingly experienced Mother.....

My reaction time was perfect. If there was an Olympic sport in mothering, I would have won the gold medal for the event of "Find a place for you kid to pee QUICKLY". Yes, it went that smoothly.

This is what went through my head in a matter of less than two seconds....

"Three kids no time to run into the bathroom. Bushes? Nope, right next to busy street, scratch that idea. Container, container anything will do....YES! Empty chocolate milk jug will work. Let's move move move! Pee is coming out!"

Yes that all went through my head in two seconds and three seconds later I'm at his door snack wrap in one hand, chocolate milk jug in the other.

Here is what went through my head as I approach the situation (which happened in 5 seconds.)

"Snack wrap in mouth, just let it hang out I guess. Get his pants down quick, pants and underwear down at the same time, check. Snack wrap back in left hand, jug in right hand, okay I can do this. Milk jug in position, check. Let's do this."

"GO! GO! GO!" I yell.

"Not in my chocolate milll......"

"It's empty just GOOOO!"

((sigh of relief)) From both J boy and me that this actually worked.

Me in my head again.

"Lid screwed on chocolate milk container so no pee spills in my car, check. Back in front seat, I need to finish the snack wrap......"

I burst in to hysterical laughter

"Did I just do that in less than ten seconds like it was no big deal? I did, I really did"

Laughing continues. J boy starts laughing, poor E has no idea why we are laughing.



I am Mother hear me roar!
I can do anything!

still laughing....