A some what happy/sad weekend
I had to write about this quickly on here for my sake but feel free to read.
Saturday my Grandma (My Mom's Mom) died. I was okay with it, I was sad but more happy than anything else. We all knew it was her time, she has been sick for many years now. I guess I was sad only because she was the one Grandma I ever knew in my life and has been the one Grandparent that I have stayed some what close to over the years. I guess as I have become an adult with a family of my own it was nice to share that with her and to have my daughter meet her great grandma was some what special to me. My Dad's Mother died when my Dad was a young boy so I never even met her. My Dad's Dad was not around that much growing up either so I never got to know him like a Grandpa, he too has passed on. I have fond memories of my Mom's Father as a Grandpa to me when I was a little kid but I was only 10 when he died. So this being my last real Grandparent alive that I was close to kinda made me sad to know she is no longer on this earth with us. But then I would think about how she was so sick near the end of her life and miserable, really, it made me more happy for her than any other feeling I had. Is it bad that I haven't cried?! I'm usually an emotional person but I guess I find it hard to cry for her death because it was a good thing to happen at this time.
I have trust and faith in my Father in Heaven and know that there is a plan for all of us. I know he loves her and he loves me and I guess all I can feel is gratitude and joy for my family and for the times I had with my Grandmother on this earth. I know families are eternal, I know it more now as a mother of my own children, than ever before. I know that we will all be reunited one day and I know there are others on this earth that don't have this knowledge, I am so BLESSED to have this comfort in my life!
To my Mom:
I love you. As I sat and thought about the time when one day I will have to say goodbye to you (in old age hopefully) I can now feel the sadness you feel now for your mother. I was blessed to have you as a Mother, I couldn't have asked Heavenly Father for a better family. Thank you for being the ultimate example to me.
I was also sad thinking I wasn't able to go to my Grandmas funeral. I have yet to be to a funeral, in my life, and really wanted to go to this one. I thought the plane tickets would be too expensive, I knew Cory couldn't come because of school, meaning traveling by myself with two kids, never a fun thought. Then I went on line and looked at the prices of air fare just to make sure I was right and found a really good deal that I couldn't pass up. J is still a lap child until the 13th of August so he's still free yay! I know I'll be alone but I think I can handle it. The kids are getting old enough to deal with a plane ride. It's only a two hour flight, it's like Stake Conference( but they can watch a movie) piece of cake! I'm WAY EXCITED to go! I get to see my mom and be with her during this time and my sister will be there, my cousins I'm close to will be there too so it will be fun and worth a little money on air fare. Since it's a last minute trip I'm kinda stressing out since I only have a few days to deep clean my house (I have a habit of doing that before I go out of town), run all the errands I was going to do through out this week, make a few phone calls to cancel things, and get things set for us to go but it'll be worth it. Wish me luck, flying with two kids alone, I'll need it!
Saturday my Grandma (My Mom's Mom) died. I was okay with it, I was sad but more happy than anything else. We all knew it was her time, she has been sick for many years now. I guess I was sad only because she was the one Grandma I ever knew in my life and has been the one Grandparent that I have stayed some what close to over the years. I guess as I have become an adult with a family of my own it was nice to share that with her and to have my daughter meet her great grandma was some what special to me. My Dad's Mother died when my Dad was a young boy so I never even met her. My Dad's Dad was not around that much growing up either so I never got to know him like a Grandpa, he too has passed on. I have fond memories of my Mom's Father as a Grandpa to me when I was a little kid but I was only 10 when he died. So this being my last real Grandparent alive that I was close to kinda made me sad to know she is no longer on this earth with us. But then I would think about how she was so sick near the end of her life and miserable, really, it made me more happy for her than any other feeling I had. Is it bad that I haven't cried?! I'm usually an emotional person but I guess I find it hard to cry for her death because it was a good thing to happen at this time.
I have trust and faith in my Father in Heaven and know that there is a plan for all of us. I know he loves her and he loves me and I guess all I can feel is gratitude and joy for my family and for the times I had with my Grandmother on this earth. I know families are eternal, I know it more now as a mother of my own children, than ever before. I know that we will all be reunited one day and I know there are others on this earth that don't have this knowledge, I am so BLESSED to have this comfort in my life!
To my Mom:
I love you. As I sat and thought about the time when one day I will have to say goodbye to you (in old age hopefully) I can now feel the sadness you feel now for your mother. I was blessed to have you as a Mother, I couldn't have asked Heavenly Father for a better family. Thank you for being the ultimate example to me.
I was also sad thinking I wasn't able to go to my Grandmas funeral. I have yet to be to a funeral, in my life, and really wanted to go to this one. I thought the plane tickets would be too expensive, I knew Cory couldn't come because of school, meaning traveling by myself with two kids, never a fun thought. Then I went on line and looked at the prices of air fare just to make sure I was right and found a really good deal that I couldn't pass up. J is still a lap child until the 13th of August so he's still free yay! I know I'll be alone but I think I can handle it. The kids are getting old enough to deal with a plane ride. It's only a two hour flight, it's like Stake Conference( but they can watch a movie) piece of cake! I'm WAY EXCITED to go! I get to see my mom and be with her during this time and my sister will be there, my cousins I'm close to will be there too so it will be fun and worth a little money on air fare. Since it's a last minute trip I'm kinda stressing out since I only have a few days to deep clean my house (I have a habit of doing that before I go out of town), run all the errands I was going to do through out this week, make a few phone calls to cancel things, and get things set for us to go but it'll be worth it. Wish me luck, flying with two kids alone, I'll need it!
5 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. Don't feel bad about not crying. I didn't cry when my Grandma died, because, as with your situation, my Grandma was ready to go and in a way it was a joyous occasion. I cried at her funeral though. It all hit me then. It was so nice to hear all about her life and pay tribute to her. I'm glad you get to go to the funeral. And, yes, I certainly wish you luck with the flight!!!! I always swear I'll never do it again when I fly with my kids. Hopefully your experience is better than some of your past flights!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. I haven't lost one yet, and I'm pretty close to all my grandparents, So I can only imagine how you guys feel. Best of luck on the flight...never done it with kids, but I'm glad you get the chance to go!
I'm so happy that it worked out for you to go and be with your family. You'll be glad you did...See you when you get back!
That is so nice that you'llbe able to be at your grandma's funeral. I didn't cry when my grandma died either, even though it was sad....but it was also a happy death, a celebration of her life. I wish you luck with your travels!!!
I'm glad that you will get to be there for the funeral...you'll be really glad in the future that you didn't miss it. Good luck with your flight - flying with kids is always an adventure!
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